


Three A.M.

by Thevoidbetweenus



Category: Naruto
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Drabble, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, suicide ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-28 07:07:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20774531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thevoidbetweenus/pseuds/Thevoidbetweenus
Summary: Tenzou wakes Shisui up in the middle of the night to ask a daunting question:"Are you okay?"Shisui has to suck it up and be emotionally vulnerable for once.  Terrifying.





	Three A.M.

“Tenzou, it’s three in the morning…” Shisui rubs his tired eyes and yawns. His curls are draped across his pillow, and he shifts in a vain attempt to get more comfortable on his bedroll. The wooden house his squadmate had built them was nice, but it’s still hard to lay on the floor. Tenzou blinks, staring at him owlishly.

“Yes, sorry...I just wanted to ask you something.”

The Uchiha groans quietly and turns again, meeting the other boy’s gaze. “...Shoot,” he says at last, managing a small smile. At least Itachi hadn’t woken him up. He loves the kid, but he’s not certain he could handle his particular brand of stoic tonight. Not after getting stuck in a downpour on their mission in Amegakure, looking for some crazy missing nin with powers like a chameleon. To say he’s grouchy would be an understatement. 

He’d be lying if he said his smile wasn’t genuine, though. Something about Tenzou always elicits one from him, even at three in the morning when he’d much rather be getting some sleep than talking to  _ anyone _ . 

“Are you okay?” Tenzou is close, now. He’s abandoned his own blankets, it seems, in favour of waking the Uchiha up to ask him this... _ troubling  _ question. The Uchiha feels a spike of panic - had Danzou asked Tenzou to spy on him, perhaps? 

But his squad mate seems far too genuine for that. No, this was real concern. Shit. That’s even worse. That’s not something he’s emotionally prepared for.

Sure, he’s got a smile like sunshine and sarcasm for days, but he was still an  _ Uchiha.  _ Dealing with emotions... _ poorly _ ...comes with the territory. His current preferred method is to pretend everything is just dandy, actually, and dissociate when he finally gets some alone time. Well, when Tenzou goes back to sleep, he has a feeling he’s not going to get the same luxury.  _ Hello impending sense of doom. _

Shisui blinks, unsure how to respond in order to placate his squadmate (because the truth would be way too difficult right now). “Well, I - yeah. Of course I’m okay,” his smile fades a little. “Don’t worry about me, alright? I’m sorry if I’ve given you the impression that something is wrong.” He runs a hand through his already-messy-hair, unable to help a yawn. He’s wishing Tenzou will accept the answer and go back to bed, but knowing his luck, that’s not going to happen.

“Hm…” Tenzou frowns at him in response, laying flat on his back beside him and staring up at the wooden ceiling. “I hoped you would be more honest with me than you are with Itachi. We’re close, aren’t we?” he asks, sounding almost...nervous.

“What- hey, I am being honest!” Shisui protests, but he goes quiet fairly quickly. “Okay, so, maybe I wasn’t totally honest. But really, it’s nothing earth-shattering. I’ll be fine,” he mutters, pulling his blanket up over his mouth rather sullenly. He almost hopes Yamato ignores the clear signal that he doesn’t want to talk. Because, well - he kind of does.

It’s just hard to admit it. He’s got a bit of a reputation to protect, after all. He’s fine. He’s cheerful. He’s  _ Shisui. Nothing  _ bothers Shisui. At least, not until the early hours in the morning when he stares up at the ceiling in his home in the Uchiha compound and can’t bring himself to get out of bed because the weight of the world feels crushing on young shoulders.

“You didn’t answer my question…” Tenzou mumbles, puffing his cheeks out.

Shisui sighs and emerges from the blanket again, unable to help his smile. Damnit, he’s trying to be grumpy! No fair. “Of course we’re close, Tenz,” he replies, reaching over to take one of his hands. He gives it a little squeeze. Both of their hands are rough, and it’s not exactly the typical gentle gesture (Shisui is holding on just a  _ bit  _ too tight), but it’s comfortable. 

The other boy’s cheeks heat up, but he continues to pout. “We’re not as close as you and Itachi, though?” he asks, dejected.

The Uchiha tilts his head, then he laughs quietly. “Oh, Tenz, you know he and I are close in a different way. We’re cousins - and I’ve got to make sure he doesn’t get himself killed, you know. Our clan head would never forgive me.” The thought kind of makes him shudder. “He’s one of my best friends, sure, but it’s different with us.”

Tenzou is staring at him owlishly again. “In what way are we close, then?” he asks, returning the squeeze to his hand. He notices the burn scars on Shisui’s fingers, probably from years of using (and over using, in Tenzou’s opinion) his katon no jutsu. Similar to most Uchiha, but he can’t remember if Itachi’s are as bad. 

“Um…” the Uchiha blushes and he shrugs. “I mean, does it really matter-”

“Yes.”

Shisui relents and he sits up, glaring at the ground. “It’s not like I know what way,” he grumbles, though that’s not  _ entirely _ true.

He’s pretty sure he’d like to do a little more than just hold hands (like, dare he think it,  _ kiss _ ), but saying it out loud sounds hard. It sounds like emotional vulnerability. He’s not sure he can handle that. Not when the world feels like it’s falling apart and he’s terrified of the adults around him who are supposed to be  _ protecting  _ him and Itachi, damnit, but they’re definitely not, and it feels like he’s drowning and sometimes he wonders if he’d be better off  _ actually drowning, and- _

“Oh.” Tenzou’s sad response snaps him back into reality. “Okay. You sounded pretty sure earlier, though.”

“Want to go for a walk?” Shisui asks, both desperately wanting to distract himself and deciding that if he’s going to open up about his feelings, it’s going to be far away from the (probably asleep, but you never know) ears of Itachi and Kakashi. 

“I thought you wanted to go back to sleep.” Tenzou is eyeing him suspiciously now. That’s fair, given the “sudden” (but quite deliberate) subject change. The Uchiha rubs the back of his neck.

“Well, yeah, but I’m awake now anyway. I think I’ll be able to explain more if we go for a walk, is all.”

“It’s raining…”

“Eh, I’ve gotten soggy before.”

Tenzou relinquishes his hold on Shisui’s hand to stand up, still a little hesitant but accepting the offer. Shisui’s movements are fluid as he stands (he’s more graceful than Tenzou could ever hope to be, but that’s neither here nor there), and he kind of awkwardly stares at his squadmate for a moment before smiling and leaping out the window (definitely using shunshin, because are you really living if you’re not going so fast that no one can see you?).

Shisui may or may not have taken joy in the expression that earned him. The feeling of “flying” in the rain is too delicious to resist, anyway, and he doesn’t try to suppress his rather large grin. The cool drops feel refreshing on his face, and even the muddy ground isn’t enough to dampen his spirits. Tenzou lands beside him, significantly less enthused. “You could’ve just walked out the door like a normal person.”

“Do you hang around me because I’m normal?” is the reply, and the boy has to admit he doesn’t have much of a retort for that.

“No.”

“Exactly!” Shisui grabs for his hand again and Tenzou smiles, allowing himself to be pulled in whatever direction the Uchiha has chosen. “For your sake, I won’t use shunshin.” He  _ likes  _ the feeling of going so fast his stomach drops, but most people don’t. For him, it’s the only time his body can catch up with his thoughts. Not that he’s ever told anyone that. He knows Fugaku and Danzo would just think he’s  _ weird,  _ and he doesn’t want to burden Itachi further. 

He  _ feels  _ weird, but he doesn’t want to open himself to judgement like that.

“Thank you,” Tenzou says, holding onto Shisui’s hand a little tighter as if he doesn’t entirely believe him. “What did you want to talk about, away from them?”

“Well, um…” Shisui glances behind them for a moment, chewing on his lip. “Not yet,” he mutters. “It’s...a secret!”

Tenzou raises a brow, staring at his friend almost accusingly as they walk. He doesn’t enjoy the rain nearly as much (his shirt is already drenched and that’s  _ annoying _ ), and Shisui is acting strange. He can’t help but be concerned. “A secret,” he echoes, frowning. 

“Do you ever feel like everything is going far too fast, but nothing is really changing?” Shisui asks, changing the subject once again. He glances up at the stars as they walk further from their camp. They’re pretty tonight, he notices vaguely, thoughts buzzing around his mind about Tenzou and Itachi and Danzou and the constellations up above.

The other boy looks over at him, his brows furrowed. “I can’t say that I do,” he admits. “I thought you liked going fast.” He hasn’t really thought too much about it at all, really. “Can you tell me the secret?”

Shisui chews on his lip, his eyes shifting to the ground now. “Sometimes I just want things to slow down,” he says, letting go of his teammate’s hand but continuing to walk. “Going fast physically is fun. Going fast emotionally gets draining. Do you know anything about my clan?”

The topic changes worry Tenzou. Shisui seems...off. He’s not acting like his usual self at all. “You’re bouncing around an awful lot,” he points out, but he sighs and gives a weary nod. “I know a bit about the Uchiha, yes.”

“They’re planning a coup, and I’m expected to fix things,” the Uchiha says, stopping once they reach a cliff overlooking a river. He sits several feet away from the edge, rolling onto his back and feeling the grass with the palms of his hands as he stares up at the stars. “I don’t know what to do,” he admits. 

Tenzou frowns as he sits beside his friend, rubbing the back of his neck. He’s never been very good at giving advice, and he’s a bit lost here. “Oh.”

Shisui looks over at him and he laughs. “Gee, thanks,” he murmurs, reaching over to take one of Tenzou’s hands. “That’s not the only thing I wanted to talk about, but I feel like you should know…” he worries his lip once again. “Sometimes I just - well, I wonder if things would be easier without me,” he admits.

That gets his squadmate’s attention. “That’s not true,” he says quickly, squeezing Shisui’s hand tightly and clasping his other hand around it as well. “Don’t say that.”

The Uchiha’s cheeks warm and he looks away, puffing his cheeks. “Tch, what do you know about it?” he grumbles, his tone light despite the serious topic. “Without my eyes in the world, things would be simpler.”

Tenzou shakes his head. “You’re wrong.”

“Am I?” Shisui’s voice grows distant as he sits up, pulling away his hand with some difficulty and standing up. “My genjutsu - kotoamatsukami - nothing can stop it.” He walks closer to the edge of the cliff, idly kicking the grass. “But I don’t want to use it. To take away someone’s free will entirely like that…” he runs a hand through his hair. 

The other boy stands as well, crossing his arms. “You don’t have to use it,” he says.

“I wish it was that simple.”

Sighing, Tenzou steps closer. “I know it’s not that simple,” he replies, “but you don’t  _ have  _ to use it.”

Shisui closes his eyes for a moment, his lower lip quivering. He swallows back the tears threatening to spill, because there’s no way he’s about to start  _ crying. _ Not here, not now. Maybe when he’s alone. 

Even then, doubtful.

“If I don’t, then I’m afraid someone  _ will _ ,” he explains, his voice quiet. “And that line of thinking leads to the conclusion that my power should just be  _ destroyed.  _ What good is a blind shinobi, though?” he kicks at the ground, eyes narrowed. “I think about it a lot. What to do, I mean. I can only think of one solution.”

Tenzou closes the distance between them. “I don’t want you to go,” he admits. It’s selfish, perhaps, but it’s the truth.

“Tenz…” the Uchiha’s cheeks are dusted pink again and he turns away from the cliff to look his friend in the eyes. “I um...I appreciate you saying that,” he mumbles, rubbing his arm and shuffling on his feet. “Guess I should tell you what I really dragged you out here for.”

“Maybe,” is the teasing response. This elicits a quiet laugh.

“Yeah, yeah.” Shisui sticks his tongue out, trying to act casual. He’s practically vibrating with nervous energy, though, and that’s fairly transparent. He reaches out, taking both of Tenzou’s hands in his own. “That um...that way of closeness, between us…” he wets his lips, trying to ignore the feeling of nausea building in his stomach. 

“Yes?” Tenzou is looking up at him (not that there’s all that much of a height difference, really, but his eyes are wide and shining and he looks so hopeful, the Uchiha’s heart swells).

“I think I mean, um…” Shisui finds himself stumbling on his words, blushing and shuffling on his feet again. “I mean - well, what I’m trying to say is that I like you,” he finishes lamely.

“Oh.” The other boy seems a bit disappointed. “I like you too.” His shoulders sink, and the Uchiha can tell he doesn’t understand.

Well, he’ll just have to be more clear.

“Romantically,” Shisui explains further, a shy smile on his face. 

This time, Tenzou’s eyes go a little wide. His mouth gapes open, and he shuts it then opens it a few times before he returns the smile. “I see,” he says, squeezing Shisui’s hands. “In that case, I return those feelings.”

“Well, that’s a relief,” Shisui manages, his shoulders relaxing as he lets out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. He shifts on his feet again, a nervous, before leaning in to give Tenzou a kiss on the cheek. The other boy blushes and smiles up at him.

“You can kiss me,” he says.

Shisui raises a brow, surprised by the forwardness, but he gladly complies. He presses a chaste kiss to Tenzou’s lips, lingering for just a moment and smiling as he pulls away. “Thanks,” he says, his face warm. 

“You don’t need to thank me,” is Tenzou’s quiet response. He leans up for another short kiss before disentangling his hands. “We should probably get back. I don’t want them to worry.”

The Uchiha sighs, reluctantly nodding. “I guess so,” he agrees, shuffling on his feet again. “I’ll never hear the end of it from Itachi if we make them late.”

“Not to mention Kakashi-senpai,” Tenzou smirks and elbows the other boy in the side lightly. 

Shisui laughs, rolling his eyes and starting to walk back. “Oh yes, can’t forget him,” he grumbles playfully. He takes one of his partner’s hands and swings their arms, unable to help his grin. 

  
Things might be going to shit, but at least he’s opened up to _someone. _His chest feels far lighter, and he might _not _have a crisis when they get back. 


End file.
